


What's next?

by technicallyimawriter



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Canon Compliant, Evan "Buck" Buckley Deserves Nice Things, Fix-It of Sorts, M/M, OR IS HE, Oblivious Evan "Buck" Buckley, POV Eddie Diaz, Post-Canon Fix-It, Sad Evan "Buck" Buckley, Worried Eddie Diaz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:55:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24151669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/technicallyimawriter/pseuds/technicallyimawriter
Summary: Looking at those clear blue eyes, troubled with the heartbreak and shining with unshed tears, Eddie decided that it would be his priority to make Buck understand that he was more than enough. That he was amazing at his job, that he was enough for Christopher, for him, for everyone at the 118.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Abby Clark (Past), Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan “Buck” Buckley & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 215





	What's next?

**Author's Note:**

> i'm sure everyone had written their side of the finale but i just couldn't help myself. so this is it, because Buck deserved more than than what he got with that conversation with Abby. i'm bitter :)
> 
> No beta read, we die like men under the weight of our grammar mistakes :))

After all the photos they had taken, Buck had told him that he was going outside because he needed air and Eddie hadn’t thought much about it that week had been rough for them, especially for Buck with Abby being back and founding out in the worst way possible that Abby was already spoken for.

Buck hadn’t talked about it yet but Eddie could see he was devastated, and he was just waiting for his best friend to come to him and talk. Eddie wanted him to know that he was there for him; when he had told him two years ago that Buck could have his back any day, Eddie meant that and he hadn’t taken it lightly, despite the lawsuit.

After that, Eddie really wanted to put effort in being a better friend for Buck but he also didn’t want to be overbearing and push him to talk about something he wasn’t ready for.

When the minutes when by, that turned into a half an hour later, Eddie decided that it was time to bring Buck back and force him to enjoy this time with everyone. In their line of work, having these precious times were once in a lifetime and they had to make the most of it.

Making sure that Christopher was fine and having fun with Harry and Danny, Eddie left the living room to go to the back of the house where he knew Buck was, probably overthinking everything that had happened.

And there he was, with his hunched shoulders, one of his hands inside his pocket and the other nursing a beer that had probably got warm a long time ago.

“You okay there?” Eddie asked softly, afraid that he might spook him. 

Buck shrugged but didn’t turn right away. “I’m okay.”

Eddie believed him or was trying to but he just wished Buck would be honest with him because it couldn’t be that easier.

Buck had never told him about his relationship with Abby, just snippets here and there, and what Eddie had heard among their coworkers but never directly from Buck. He just knew that Abby left before he even came to work at the 118 and never came back until now.

“I could be better, though,” Buck murmured and took a sip from his beer.

Eddie nodded, not really knowing what he could add, just hoping that Buck would take his silence for encouragement to keep going and let it out.

When the silence dragged on, with no signs of Buck going to talk, he took a step closer to him. “You know you can talk to me, right? About everything.” Buck nodded but he still wasn’t looking at him and Eddie wondered if he was really listening or just was faking it to appease Eddie. “I meant it, Buck.”

Buck nodded again and looked at him briefly. “You know I was with Abby before, for a while.”

“I got the gist of it, yes,” Eddie replied, jealousy rearing its ugly head at the mention of Buck’s ex-girlfriend.

“So, you know that after all of that, she decided that it was best for her leave and find herself, which I don’t blame her because she can do whatever makes her happy,” Buck continued, his gaze faraway, probably reminiscing his past relationship. “I told her that I would wait for her, you know? I guess that’s another reason why things didn’t work out with Ali.”

Eddie shook his head vehemently, even though Buck wasn’t looking at him. “She didn’t want to see you get hurt again. That’s a given in this line of work; it’s not your fault if she couldn’t see you like that.”

God knew how much it hurt for Eddie watching Buck go through every hardship this past year. The truck, the blood clot, the thinners, the tsunami, even the lawsuit, a disaster after another that could have taken Buck out of his life for good.

“But Abby could,” Buck said with determination in his voice, glancing at him. Then he shook his head and turned his head around, avoiding meeting Eddie’s eyes. “Or so I thought. I guess we will never know.”

A moment passed, where none of them was willing to talk, not just yet anyways. Buck put his bottle on the ground and turned around and focused on Eddie, while crossing his arms.

“She asked to meet me earlier, I guess to talk… She said that she wasn’t ready to talk to me, that she was afraid that she would get back to being the person she was before. The person who only focused in the people that needed her.” He sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. “I can’t be mad at her for being selfish for one, right? For putting herself before anyone else.”

Leave it to Buck to dismiss his own heartbreak and not talk bad about his ex-girlfriend. He longed for Buck to finally realize that his own discomfort was valid too and that he had every right to be enraged, to be furious about this.

“You can be angry at this, Buck. She left two years ago and she never called you to tell you that she moved on.” At his words, Buck flinched and turned his head to avoid meeting his gaze. He felt bad but Buck needed to hear him. “If she had the right to move on, so did you. She could have given you that.”

Buck shook his head. “I just… I expected more and I had these high hopes that when she finally came back, we could…”

“Take it from where you left off?”

Buck nodded. “Am I that naïve?”

“No, Buck. You were just hopeful. That’s not bad. But you deserved to know before and this wasn’t the way.” He took another step forward until he was at arm’s read and

gripped his shoulder, making Buck turn. “Whatever she meant about returning to what she was before, it wouldn’t be your fault and you _have_ to know that. It’s not on you, Buck.”

“But it’s on me that she left. It’s on me and everything that happened with her mom, and I just– I wasn’t enough to make her stay, Eddie. Whatever we had, it wasn’t enough.”

Looking at those clear blue eyes, troubled with the heartbreak and shining with unshed tears, Eddie decided that it would be his priority to make Buck understand that he was more than enough. That he was amazing at his job, that he was enough for Christopher, for him, for everyone at the 118.

Placing both of his hands on Buck’s shoulder and bringing him closer to him, he searched for his eyes until Buck was focused on him.

“Listen to me,” Eddie started, “you’re enough. More than that. If Abby or Ali, or whoever was with you before, didn’t notice, it’s not your fault. You have to know that.” He didn’t care that he was repeating himself. He would say it enough times until Buck believed him. “She moved on, and so should you.”

Buck was staring at him, his eyes expressing the words that he couldn’t tell. Eddie knew that. His were getting shinier and shinier.

Without voicing anything, Eddie brought him closer until Buck’s face was tucked between his neck and his shoulder. Buck gripped his back tight and it was then that Eddie felt his shirt getting damp on his shoulder but he didn’t care, he would be Buck’s shoulder to cry on as long as he needed to.

Eddie hugged him tight too, hoping that Buck would realize that Eddie was there for everything and anything, that he could count on him for every little problem.

Buck mumbled a “thank you” against his neck and Eddie just nodded, hugging him even tighter, bringing him closer to him and really hoping that Buck would never stop being this close to him.

He hoped against hope that this would be the beginning for them soon.

**Author's Note:**

> let's hope that season 4 give us what we really want now that Buck had his closure and it looks like he's somewhat happy. Give me Buck being happy or nothing.
> 
> [hmu so we can all clown together](https://tobeseentobefound.tumblr.com/)


End file.
